Sleep: Why Is It Important and How Do We Get It?

How lack of sleep affects our mental health and some tips to help. 

“Each night, when I go to sleep, I die.  And the next morning, when I wake up, I am reborn.” -Mahatma Gandhi

Alright Gandhi, this is a little dramatic here. We don’t actually die then wake up reborn…but maybe it’s not too farfetched. It does feel like death and rebirth at times, doesn’t it? When that exhaustion is so overwhelming and we don’t even remember how we got to bed or when we just need to “rest our eyes” for a minute during a movie...IFYKYK, right? And that feeling after allowing ourselves to crash is pure bliss. But what happens when we fight it? Maybe for work-that deadline we kept putting off. Maybe something on your mind-it’s so hard to turn that brain off.  Or maybe because we are living our best life every night-partying. Whatever it is that keeps you up, is it worth it? Obviously, there are times when we have to learn to live with temporary loss of snoozes at times. Like when we are new parents, or when we have sick kids, etc. But this should not be our normal.  So, when we can help it and we don’t, is it worth the repercussions? 

I was at a conference for some continued education credits where I listened to many doctors speak about their specialties.  They were all good and full of  interesting information, but, for some reason, this particular doctor stood out that day.  He was a sleep specialist and mentioned things like “snoring is never normal” and a lot of other things that I am sure were good too, but when he was talking about the importance of sleep on our mental health, I was listening a little harder. He explained that just three days with a lack of sleep is equivalent to someone in the state of psychosis. Yes, psychosis.  It seemed a little dramatic to say. I mean, only three days? As a mom of little kids and babies at that time I had to go with lack of sleep on the regular and I was completely fine. I was no Psycho…just don’t ask my spouse. What does this guy know about sleep anyway? And even if I wanted to get more sleep, how in the world was I supposed to manage that? Between working, planning and providing for all the meals, doing all the house things, and any other extracurricular things that come up. There are not enough hours in the day- which flows into the night. I don’t know about you guys, but after the kids go to bed, that is the best time to play “catch up” with everything. 

And that is exactly why I found myself in survival mode, averaging only a few hours of sleep every night. I was getting to bed around twelve or one in the morning doing everything between laundry and cleaning the house to binge watching episodes on netflix. Then I was getting up around four in the morning to get to the gym before work.  In the short term, this might not have been so bad, but long term, it was taking its toll on me.It was not feasible. Don’t get me wrong, here and there, I would get a few extra Z’s in. But did you know that you cannot really “catch up” on sleep? It doesn’t really work that way.  So here I was mentally, and now physically, exhausted all the time. A medical professional might call it chronic fatigue induced but lack of sleep, A.K.A. tired. I was tired.  I might have told you that I was good and that I didn’t require a lot of sleep to function, but that was probably my psychosis speaking because I was not fine.  I had brain fog, random health issues out of nowhere, and I was having depressive thoughts, which ended up affecting my relationships.  And it wasn’t until I ended up having a major surgery to put me in a deep sleep that I realized how drained I really was. I mean, all I could do at that point was sleep and rest. It wasn’t my favorite at first.  I do not rest well. I do not let go well either, but once I got used to letting go of things, I was sad when I had to return to normal life after healing. And I couldn’t believe how much better I felt. And I could hear the voice of that sleep doctor using the word psychosis (in my most Michael Myers voice). Which had me question, had I experienced that? For the sake of my family reading this, no way. I will deny it if you ever tell it. But for those reading who might be going through something similar, I might have had some moments. Though, the first question is, why is sleep so important that the lack of it can literally alter your mental state?

I knew sleep was important. It’s why I have always been such a stickler about my kids getting to bed on time as much as possible.I mean just ask my daughter. When she was in second grade, I was saying prayers with her to put her to bed. It was around seven in the evening and she heard kids playing outside of her window ( even through her noise maker...yes she still had one) and asked, “Why are kids younger than me still playing outside and I am going to bed?” It’s because I knew what kind of crazy would wake up if she didn’t get a certain amount of rest. And how many times, when out in public and our kids are acting up, we are quick to say, “Betty is just tired. She didn’t sleep well.”? And while adults do learn to cope a little better than a kid, how many times do we excuse ourselves or others with “I didn’t mean what I said, I was just tired. I haven’t been sleeping well.”?  We think we are not like kids and we can cope with little to no sleep if we need to. And we can at times for short periods, sure. But let’s go back. Did y’all hear what the doctor said? Lack of sleep can cause psychosis. Hello? This is something serious. 

To understand the urgency of this and to understand what this truly means, you need to know what that word means. The National Institute of Mental Health (NIH) defines psychosis as a “collection of symptoms that affect the mind, where there has been some loss of contact with reality.” They go on to say that “perceptions are disrupted and they may have difficulty recognizing what is real and what is not.” Your brain has to have sleep to function- it is literally when your cells communicate. And to understand what helps us get the sleep we need, let's look at some vital elements that play a role in whether we get good sleep. Warning: it might get a little nerdy in here…these are a few of the things that are important when it comes to our sleep.  

• Melatonin. You know that gummy or pill you take at bedtime? Well, did you know that your brain actually makes this on its own. Or it should, anyway.  It is what helps regulate your circadian rhythm. What is that, you ask? It is your body's clock- what tells you to get out of bed right now or tells you to get your bottom to bed right now.  And do you know what tells our brain to make Melatonin? Darkness. When my kids make excuses about not being able to sleep, I tell them, “Just lay there then.” Every so often, they would fight it, but mostly they were out in no time (although, they would absolutely lie the next day saying they didn’t sleep all night when, in fact, I saw them snoozing with my own eyes). We adults can play this same game. Just turn off the lights, get off the phone or electronics and just lay there if you need to. 
• Cortisol. This one is tricky.  Cortisol is a hormone that does a lot in our body. Good and bad.  It is tricky because higher cortisol levels make it harder to sleep while not having enough sleep can increase our cortisol levels. While we need it to help with things like our fight or flight, inflammatory responses and to help wake us up in the morning, too much cortisol in our body can cause weight gain, high blood pressure, high blood sugar, skin problems, bloating, constipation, osteoporosis, and the list goes on.  But there is good news. You can regulate this by things like exercise, a balanced diet (limiting caffeine, especially before bedtime), taking supplements like vitamin d and omega’s and anything to reduce your stress (take a bath, meditate, etc.). 
• Serotonin.  This is our “happy” hormone, per say. It is that euphoric feeling we get. Lack of it can lead to depression and an irritable mood. Maybe some of you take or have heard of SSRI’s like Zoloft or Paxil. These medicines keep your body from reabsorbing serotonin, increasing levels of serotonin. And this helps with low feelings or depression, but serotonin is also necessary for the production of melatonin (remember the first one I mentioned?). Try getting some fresh air and sunshine, reduce your stress, take supplements, and exercise to level this out. 
• Dopamine. This is our motivation. Ever heard of a dopamine rush? It is called that because something that feeds our desires gives us that “rush” of a good feeling.  It is our reward system.  It’s what we feel with that first bite of food we have been craving.  If we are stimulating our dopamine production, it messes with our sleep-wake cycle because it helps us wake up and inhibits melatonin.  Stay away from overstimulating things. In the evenings especially.  Feeding your dopamine highs can make it harder to fall asleep.  Ever been so amped up from a day or an event that you have a hard time getting settled? This is partly because of dopamine.  

Now, the next question is, how do we get good, quality sleep?  I don’t have it all figured out. I still love to binge watch shows all night, even when I know it is a bad 

idea. I still think I do my best thinking at night, after my kids go to bed.  And I hate to break it to you, but remember those newborns that keep you up late? Well, they become teenagers, and they keep you up even later.  So sleep does not come easy, even having all of the medical knowledge.  But here are a few things I think might help.  

1. Be aware. Be mindful of the importance of sleep and the effects it has on you and your family. And be mindful of the things that mess with your rest.  It is the first step to making better choices-to know what does work is to learn what doesn’t work.. Which leads to my next one. 
2. Just do it.  Choose to go to sleep- or just choose to go to bed and lie down in the dark.  Shut everything off.  Scrolling through my phone is not helping me fall asleep. It is hindering it. 
3. Stop fighting it. My son got so upset with me for turning off the television when it was time for bed the other night. He went as far to say that he was not tired (he yawned while saying this) and said, and I quote, “I just feel like I want to die when I get too much sleep.” He is eight. He had just come off of a long weekend where he spent the night with a friend one night, then had a friend stay over at our house the next night, on top of 3 late nights of basketball and early mornings. After my extremely long prayer while massaging his head, he was good to go.  Unfortunately, no one rubs my head and forces me to turn off the television anymore to get me to go to sleep. I have to stop fighting the urge to supply my dopamine revert to step two before letting myself succomb to sleep.  
4. Form habits.  Find a good routine. Find what calms you or relaxes you (and your family).  Set limits and timers for yourself and your family close to bedtime. Limits on food, electronics, and playing.  If you are busy a lot, you can still have a routine when you are home.  We may not get home before 7 o’ clock in the evening most nights, but when we are home, my kids know that we are getting to bed at a certain time.  

Every individual is different. You have to find what works for you, but whatever the reason you are having trouble getting the rest you need, fix it. Or find someone to help you fix it because it is too vital to our health not to. And I didn’t even touch on the physical health problems that come from lack of sleep ( look out for part two). Whatever you do, be the best version of you.