The Power of Your Thoughts: How to Change False Narratives and Renew Your Mind by Michele Humphrey

I think I may, I think I might...

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT? DOES IT REALLY MATTER?

From childhood to adulthood, you can’t get away from your thoughts. You can, however, learn more about them, yourself, and change those false narratives you tell yourself.

 

The argument went round and round and yet I was the only one in the room. How does that happen to me so often? The room of my assumptions, my thoughts, almost unbeknownst to me, circles round and round in my head. To look at me, you would think…a typical middle aged woman living an average life but the battlefield within my mind is in technicolor and aggressively taking more ground if I am not on guard.  Have you ever told yourself a story so often that it became a default? I am referring to self-talk. David Goggins, a retired Navy Seal, says, “The most important conversations you’ll ever have are the ones you’ll have with yourself. You wake up with them, you walk around with them, you go to bed with them, and eventually you act on them. Whether they be good or bad.” Proverbs 23:7 states, “as a man thinks in his heart, so is he.” If you are honest with yourself, and that is key, what conversations are you having with yourself? Are there defaults that don’t bring life to your life? 

In a study from 2020, Queens University in Canada, it is estimated that a person has an average of 6,000 thoughts per day and most of those are repetitive. Here is that link if you are interested. How Many Thoughts Do You Have Per Day? And Other FAQs

Basically, our minds are amazing and our thoughts are many. And we are the only ones responsible for what we meditate on. We do not have to give time to and think on every thought that comes into our noggins. Those repetitive thoughts become a way or pattern of thinking. When a thought pattern leads to dysregulation, anxiety, depression, and/or unhealthy behaviors we need to take note and change what we think about or meditate on. The narrative, “I’m just a worrier and it's the way I am made” isn’t true. You can control your thoughts and change the narrative. I would like to help by giving you some simple steps to identify the narrative you tell yourself and make some changes that will lead you to be the best you that you can be. And hey, if you are already there, that’s amazing! Keep going! This mind over matter thing is a lifelong journey. 

Before I get into the steps for taking control of your thought life I feel I must explain just a couple of things. We are made up of three parts and they all integrate and work together. We have a body, a spirit, and a soul. The soul is made up of the mind, the will, and the emotions. Because we are multi-faceted, I believe we need to tend to and care for each area of our personhood for our well-being and health. Beginning to recognize how your body is reacting will revolutionize your overall health as you tend to it. I encourage you to begin to take note of how your body is responding and the thoughts you’ve been entertaining most often. If you recognize you’ve been feeling stressed, stop and take a few minutes to take a look at your thoughts. What have you been playing across the movie screen of your mind?

 

Every action, behavior, and even attitude starts as a thought. The thought, if given time to “marinate” creates a pathway. Thoughts lead to words that lead to actions. For example if you think about your favorite food long enough, you will be sitting down to eat it pretty quickly. Scientifically, thoughts create neural pathways. I liken it to a trench or a ditch. The first dozen times of considering a thought, you have beaten down the grass and a path is forming. The same thought on repeat gets deeper and deeper until it is embedded in your mind as a default whether good or bad. Now the crazy thing is that this can be at an almost subconscious level. We do it without realizing the lasting effects of our thoughtlife. I recently heard a new analogy. Those repeated thoughts become your ‘favorites playlist’ that comes up automatically when you awaken. Just like in your music app, all “like sounding songs" are offered as a “you might like” list. This is great if you are meditating on truth but when you are meditating on a false narrative, or assumptions, then more and more false narratives are offered. Are you grabbing the implications of this?

 

The other thing to note is disciplining yourself to think differently takes time and effort. Anything worthwhile does. And as the Bible says, all discipline is not fun/enjoyable in the moment but there is a result that you will be happy with. That is the “Michele translation” of  Hebrews 12:11. Just like working out and eating healthier is not easy at the beginning, there will be good results IF you stick to it. I have spent over 30 years growing in my understanding of “how” to take every thought captive and I would love to help you take the reins of your thoughtlife and bring them under control.  The Bible calls this “renewing your mind” in Romans 12 and Ephesians 4. Now, let’s get into it.

 

First step, take inventory of what you think about as well as how your body is reacting to those thoughts. Our bodies react to our thoughts. In her book, Who Switched Off My Brain? Dr. Caroline Leaf, a neurosurgeon, breaks it down in layman’s terms for us. When a person thinks about a good memory, the brain scans show up looking like healthy trees. When a person thinks about a bad memory or negative thought, the scan shows deterioration of the said trees. She explains it has to do with our bodies releasing certain chemicals, triggered from the brain. The mind tells the brain what chemicals to release that either bring health and life, or sickness and death.  She says, “As we think, we change the physical nature of our brain. As we consciously direct our thinking, we can wire out toxic patterns of thinking and replace them with healthy thoughts. New thought networks grow. We increase our intelligence and bring healing to our brains, minds, and bodies.” Ever been surprised by a gift or friend’s visit that you have a rush of that “feel good” energy? Your mood is boosted and all feels right with the world. These are the good, healthy chemical releases. Conversely, have you been through something difficult, a loss, divorce, or other major life change and notice some unwanted body responses like anxiety or depression? Here are some signs and symptoms of anxiety and depression: 

  • Irritability, frustration, or restlessness
  • Difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep
  • Waking up too early or sleeping too much
  • Slowed thinking, speaking, or body movements
  • Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
  • Disturbing dreams or nightmares that wake you up

These chemicals all stem from your thoughts. This becomes rather serious business once you recognize the power of your thoughts. Dr Leaf suggests keeping a thought journal and I would agree. Writing out your thoughts engages more areas of your brain to help with the process of “detoxifying thought habits”. Self-awareness is the beginning of a healthier you. The more you practice this, the better you will get. Be patient with yourself. It is worth the effort and will bring you healing and better health.

Our body’s reactions are incredible indicators of what is going on in our mind. Sometimes there are very real chemical imbalances. If that is you, it is important to be under the care of a physician. I don’t want to imply that every person dealing with depression just needs to put on a happy thought. However, every person can benefit from becoming aware of thought life and the habitual thinking patterns you may have. 

 

Second step, label the thought. Is it true? What is Truth? We can get into all kinds of discussions on this. However, I am giving you the ‘believer in Christ and the Bible’ representation of Truth. If your narrative is some version of….”I am not loved or wanted, I am stupid/dumb/a mistake” or even simply….”I can’t”, these are false narratives. They simply are not true according to the Bible, God’s Word to us. I can give you several verses of scripture that will help you know your true identity. There is so much more I would like to say on this topic and I will get deeper into it next time. If you see you’ve been telling yourself a lie, acknowledge it as such, label it. You are not held captive to a pattern of thinking. You may have had someone tell you these things at some point in your life but that doesn’t make them true. Hurting people hurt people. The next question about that thought…Is it helpful? Does that thought inspire you, build you up, bring clarity towards life? If not, again, just label it. The first few times you do this, you may need to write it down. Make a list. Remember, I told you this takes work and time but the end result will bring you freedom and a new lease on life. You will thank yourself. Dr Lee Warren, a practicing neurosurgeon, has trademarked a phrase for this process, Self-Brain Surgery.  If you want to go further into the scientific aspect of this process, here is the link to his podcast. https://wleewarrenmd.com/podcast/ I highly recommend it. He gives a faith meets science perspective that fascinates me. We truly are a masterpiece as Ephesians 2:10 says.

 

The final step is going to build your resilience. Replace the lies with Truth. Sounds so simplistic and really it is but like any pro-athlete, you must practice and persevere. Honestly, when I first began using this process(and I still do), there were thoughts that inundated me. I felt like Lucille Ball working on the assembly line at the chocolate factory. I Love Lucy | Lucy And Ethel At The Chocolate Factory (S2, E1) | Paramount+

 I encourage you to watch for a quick laughter break. (Laughter is full of healing power.) The thoughts came fast and didn’t just stop the first time I replaced the lie or to use the I love Lucy video as an analogy, to wrap the lie with truth. I wanted to quit several times and I did… but then realized this battle is worth the fight and got back up again, guarding my mind.

 

Practically, let me explain how to do this. Let’s say you are in the mundane throes of life, or maybe scrolling through socials, and you begin to feel in your body something unsettling. I’d like to give you my own personal example. I was out for a walk in my local park. I have gotten so many benefits from this habit. While I was walking, I was listening to a podcast and I basically had the walking path to myself. Nobody else was there that afternoon. During my walk, I began to feel this inner pressure of needing to “have my say” and “prove my point”. Honestly, there was pressure in my chest and I very much felt the need to erupt. As I walked, I asked the Lord to help me identify what was happening. It came back to the thoughts that I was thinking about. In fact, I had missed the past 7 minutes of the podcast I was listening to and instead I had pulled up to the “drive in movie” of self-pity. The lies I was meditating on were things like; I look like a fool, everyone thinks I’m an idiot, I don’t have friends, and the list went on. Remember what I said about our thoughts being like a favorite playlist that offers other songs “like” it. Well, there I was wading through songs I didn’t need or want. Spiraling. I paused my podcast. I labeled the lies as I walked and I began to replace them. I am a visual learner so, I pictured myself writing the Truths instead. As I did this, my body began to respond and a sense of peace settled on me. I would love to tell you that it hasn’t happened again but that too would be a “false narrative”. This is real life experience that is becoming my default…slowly but surely.  

 

Friend, YOU can do this. YOU need to do this. You are not relegated to always being a worrier, angry, pessimistic or living with anxiety or depression. Maybe you’ve never even acknowledged your thoughts as something to control. I have had several people tell me that they never knew they had any capacity to change their thoughts. It was revelational to them, just as it was to me. This will become a lifelong strategy against the many lies that interrupt our days through our thoughts. A pattern or way of thinking can be changed. 

My name is Michele, I am a life coach here at It's Not Over and would love to help. 

 

Michele Humphrey

Michele is a wife, mother, and grandmother whose life experience proves that out of the ashes, beauty can rise. With the Lord by her side, Michele has worked to overcome fear, rejection, and several other life challenges. Her background includes women’s ministry and certified personal training, and she also holds  certifications in mental health and life coaching. Michele believes that each individual can walk in wholeness: body, soul, and spirit. Her goal is to help others identify and change destructive patterns to begin a new life giving narrative towards living an abundant life. There is always hope!