A Faith-Based Approach to Self-Care, Boundaries, and Mindfulness

Building Healthy Relationships: A Faith-Based Approach to Self-Care, Boundaries, and Mindfulness
Navigating the deep waters of close, healthy relationships can be challenging for most people. For those with a history of trauma, it can feel even more difficult. But have no fear; there is hope! By practicing a few essential steps, we can promote healthy self-care, set wise boundaries, and learn to value others.
Define Loving Others
Jesus set the standard in Mark 12:30–31 when He said we are to love God with all our body, mind, soul, and strength. Our focus should be on honoring the Creator. Then, He challenges us to love others, our neighbors, as we love ourselves. For many, this can be a significant challenge.
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:30-31, NIV
Start by placing positive affirmations in your home to remind yourself of your worth. Take time to get to know yourself better. If you’re unsure where to start, we’d be honored to connect you to self-assessments that can aid in this process. Remember, you are valuable; God created only one of you!
Define and Establish Boundaries
Let’s face it, not everyone is good for you. It’s essential to discern and commit to establishing safe boundaries for people who are unwell or bring you down. Romans 16:17 reminds us to keep our eyes open and watch out for individuals who may lead us astray.
I urge you, brothers and sisters, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them. Romans 16:17, NIV
Setting boundaries might mean limiting your interactions with certain family members to big holiday events or keeping some people out of your private circle. Not everyone should have access to your inner thoughts or influence your decisions. If you’re unsure how to start, we are here to listen and help you navigate this journey of finding and establishing boundaries.
Be Mindful
You have both the right and the responsibility to monitor your thoughts and feelings. Your focus is your choice. Philippians 4:8 encourages us to choose what is correct and positive, reminding us that we are equally capable of choosing negative thoughts.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8, NIV
Be mindful of your thought life; don’t let your thoughts run unrestrained. If you do, your negative attitude toward someone will eventually show up in your behavior toward them. This can harm relationships, as your mindset may be negative before the conversation even begins.
As coaches, our role is to support you in reaching your goals. We ask thoughtful questions, listen to your answers, and walk alongside you in your journey toward becoming the best version of yourself. If we can serve you, please don’t hesitate to reach out. We would love to see you grow in your personal, spiritual, and professional relationships.

About Dr. Karmen Payne
Dr. Karmen Payne is a mother, grandmother, and passionate follower of Christ. She holds an EdD in Traumatology and an MA in Human Services Counseling with a focus on sexual addictions. A board-endorsed clinical chaplain and registered nurse, Dr. Payne supports mental health as a faith-based specialist with the Alabama Department of Mental Health. With over a decade of experience in prisons, jails, and rehabilitation centers, she also teaches various topics in these facilities. Dr. Payne is dedicated to advancing the Kingdom and enriching lives through coaching and education.